Eating Habits
by Scarpaw
Summary: Shinra always knew there was something off about Izaya's eating habits, but he never would have guessed that this would be the reason. Tokyo Ghoul AU
1. Back Alley Strangers

So this is an already completed story that I am posting in 3 parts. It is my first attempt at Tokyo Ghoul and at writing a Tokyo Ghoul x Durarara crossover. This features Raijin Days Shinra and Izaya, so hopefully I didn't do too bad with them! This story focuses a lot more on the Durarara characters than the Tokyo Ghoul ones, so I apologize for that.

This chapter features a lot of vomiting, though this is where the vast majority of it occurs. If you are triggered by that, by reading about people eating, or by any of the warnings listed below in bold font, then this story might not be for you! I'll give you each chapter's warning when I post it, as well as the overarching story warnings as well. This is labeled as T because while it includes the things that are in the warnings, it is not terribly graphic.

 **Story Warnings: Vomiting, Blood, Gore, Cannibalism**

 **Chapter Warnings: Vomiting**

Please enjoy!

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara! or Tokyo Ghoul**

 **Eating Habits**

 _Shinra always knew there was something off about Izaya's eating habits, but he never would have guessed that this would be the reason. Tokyo Ghoul AU_

 **Meal 1: Back Alley "Strangers" (And Shinra's Cooking)**

It's the sound of someone vomiting that draws Shinra to the dark alley just off of the apartment building where he lives. Logically, he should ignore it and continue on home – after all, there's the strong possibility that Celty's already home, and he can tell her about his lonely day away from her – but he's driven by curiosity. That, and a strong budding business sense, seeing as if it's a sick person, Shinra can always lure them back to the apartment, help them out, and then charge them through the nose for the equivalent of over-the-counter cough medicine. Sometimes being an innocent looking high school student is beneficial when conning people.

Stepping into the alley, the first thing Shinra notices is the corpse. It's torn apart savagely, like it had been attacked by a wild animal. Though he can tell the culprit wasn't a wild animal for two reasons: one being that he lives in the middle of a city, and wild animals are hard to come by, and two being that there are large chunks taken out of the body that look like a ghoul's handiwork. Shinra's gotten up close and personal a few times with wounds made by ghouls thanks to his father's work as an underground doctor, and his habit of allowing Shinra to assist in his work, and sometimes having his son do all the work.

He accidentally kicks a can that's lying in the alley, creating a metallic noise that echoes down the walls. The figure who had been vomiting snaps his attention over to the high schooler – they're propping themselves up on the wall with one hand, the other secured around their midsection. For a wild moment, Shinra thinks that he caught a ghoul in the middle of eating because the first thing he catches is reflective bloody red eyes in the dark shadows the person is hidden in. But, as his heartbeat steadies with disappointment, he notices that there's no black cornea to signal the kakugan of a ghoul, and Shinra recognizes the garnet – not blood red – eyes of the person vomiting their guts out.

"Wow, I never expected you to have such a weak stomach!" Shinra laughs, approaching the corpse and person with abandon. He's tempted to poke it, but that would be unsanitary when he doesn't have gloves on. "But then again, I guess some people just can't take corpses, especially when they're a ghoul's handiwork, huh Orihara-kun?"

Izaya scowls at Shinra, looking as if he wants to snap something at the other teen, before his body convulses and he's slapping a hand over his mouth and turning away. Shinra watches the whole thing with detached clinical disinterest. Izaya doesn't vomit again, though he gives a wet cough and wipes his mouth with his sleeve. Shinra turns away and resumes his examination of the corpse.

"Looks like this guy's been dead for a few days," He talks out loud, leaning over the body, careful not to touch it. Again, not only would it be unsanitary, but Shinra also doesn't want to accidentally implicate himself in this crime.

"What makes you say that?" Izaya asks disinterestedly, wobbling over to stand next to Shinra.

"He has maggots," Shinra points to the open wound on the corpse's shoulder, where there are flies buzzing, and fat maggots sluggishly moving through the meat. "And it looks like some are already starting to pupate – incubation period normally takes anywhere from four days to a week, so…"

"Gross." Izaya mutters when Shinra trails off, placing a hand back over his mouth like he might vomit again.

"If you're going to throw up again, can you not do it right next to me?" Shinra requests unabashedly, earning a glare from Izaya.

"I'm not going to throw up," Izaya denies, but he does shuffle a few steps back in the direction of his previous puddle of puke.

"Do you want to come back to my apartment?" Shinra asks after a few minutes, when he's had his fill of examining the corpse. Izaya is still hovering, and he looks pale, like he might collapse at any moment.

"I'm fine," Izaya raises an eyebrow as if he's uncertain as to why Shinra's offering. He obviously doesn't realize how bad he looks. "I should be getting home anyways."

"Come on," Shinra insists, not mentioning his insistence is because he doesn't want to have Izaya's collapsing as soon as he leaves on his conscious. Celty would never forgive him if he let someone collapse without making some sort of attempt at helping them, even if that person was Izaya. Not only that, but if he mentions how horrible Izaya looks to Izaya, it's a sure fire way to have him ditch Shinra. "Just come up and rinse your mouth out. My apartment's not that far away."

"Fine," He sighs, because he knows Shinra won't give up until he gets his way. "I guess I'll come up for a few minutes."

* * *

The notice is blaring itself across the TV just as Izaya is heading to put his shoes back on to head home.

"The CCG has put the area under lockdown, huh?" Shinra isn't as annoyed by it as Izaya looks. "I wonder if they found the corpse that you did." Really, he isn't bothered in the slightest, grinning at Izaya like an idiot.

"They must think the ghoul is still in the area if they put us under lockdown," He continues as Izaya removes the shoe he just put on and returns to the living room area.

"Either that or they're currently chasing a ghoul down or think one's in the area," Izaya drops down on the couch while Shinra goes and prattles around in the kitchen.

"Regardless, it looks like you're stuck here until they end the lockdown." Something clatters in the kitchen. "I hope you're not allergic to anything, because I'm making dinner. It's nothing like my darling Celty makes of course, but it shouldn't poison you. Not that I'd be bothered if it did, of course."

"You don't need to put yourself out of your way," Izaya tells him after a beat, when Shinra's words fully process. "I'm not really hungry. Anything you make I probably won't eat anyway."

"What?" Shinra's head pops out of the kitchen to gape at Izaya. "You're joking, right? You didn't eat lunch today _and_ you threw up earlier! You should be starving by now."

"I'm not hungry," Izaya repeats firmly, and Shinra stares at him for a moment, studying his friend with a scrutinizing look.

"Don't care," Shinra announces as he disappears back into the kitchen. "You need to eat more so you're eating whether you want to or not!"

"As if!" Izaya retorts futilely, because Shinra inevitably hands him a bowl of food and chopsticks when he's done cooking.

"You need to eat more," Shinra's obviously not done lecturing him as he drops on the couch with a bowl of his own. "You're practically skin and bones!" He fixes Izaya with another of those stares of his, tilting his head to the side. "Are you sure you're getting enough to eat at home?"

"I'm assuming if I eat I'll be spared the lecture?" Izaya interrupts dryly, not really wanting to listen to Shinra's speculations and accusations of what his home-life must be like.

"Sure," Shinra shrugs. "For now, at least." That's probably the best he's going to get, and it's with resignation that Izaya takes the chopsticks he was given and starts to pick at the food.

It's slow work eating the entire bowl that Izaya _knows_ Shinra overfilled on purpose, but he also knows that Shinra won't let him live it down if he doesn't eat everything in it. He fights through every bite of the meal, fully knowing that he's going to regret it later. Ah, the things he does…

"Happy?" Izaya snarks, showing the empty bowl to Shinra when he finally finishes. Covering a nauseated belch with his free hand, he hides his grimace with it as well when he does his best to force down the bile cresting up his throat.

"Wow, I didn't think you'd actually eat it all!" _Jerk._ Of course he was going to eat it all; he would've pitched a fit if Izaya hadn't.

"Well, I did," Izaya manages to get out over the lump in his throat, swallowing hard to try and overcome the nausea. "Any idea when the CCG is going to end the lockdown?" Because he'd really rather leave Shinra's before he puked again – if he did, it would be hard to explain.

"What, not enjoying my company?" Shinra pouts. "And here I was going to offer to help you with your biology homework!"

"Not particularly, and I don't need your help," Izaya isn't fazed. "And are you going to answer me? Where I live the CCG doesn't do lockdowns, and I haven't been caught in one before." At least, not one where he hasn't been able to escape from before, but he isn't about to tell Shinra that…

"Well, you could always leave now, but that would probably get you pegged as a ghoul or a ghoul sympathizer," Shinra offers unsympathetically. "Otherwise, you should just expect to stay until morning. They only end the lockdown when they catch the ghoul they're chasing, and if they don't they keep the lockdown in place until morning – usually dawn. Why?"

"Obviously, because my sisters are home alone," Izaya responds with a half-truth to keep Shinra appeased. "My parents are away on a business trip, and I'm supposed to be watching them." He pins a glare on Shinra. "And I would be, if _someone_ hadn't gotten me caught in a ghoul-lockdown."

"Geez, sorry!" Shinra apologizes only half-sincere. "You didn't mention that!"

"And if I had, would you have let me go home?"

"Ah, probably?" Shinra replies after a beat, before shrugging his shoulders. "Who knows, it's in the past! Anyways, can't you just call a neighbor and have them check in on your sisters or something?"

"Yeah," Izaya sighs, pulling out his phone, flicking through the contacts. "Call a neighbor or something." He lands on the number he's looking for, and presses the button to connect the call.

" _Iza-nii! Where are you!"_ Mairu's voice bounces through the line almost immediately.

"A friend's place," Izaya responds, and ignores Shinra beside him. "Look, I got caught in a ghoul lockdown, and I'm not going to be home. You guys are on your own."

" _Lockdown… all right…?"_ Kururi's voice comes from the line, telling Izaya that either the phone's on speaker, or the twins are pressed against the phone, sharing it.

"I'm fine," Izaya iterates, "Just stuck at a friend's place. I'll be back in the morning. There's food in the fridge if you get hungry. If you run into a problem, the numbers are on the fridge. You know how to use the phone. Bye."

He hangs up before either of the twins can yell at him, contemplating calling someone else to check in on the twins as well.

"Maa, you really are horrible, aren't you?" Shinra accuses Izaya as he pulls his school work out of his bag.

"What? You said call a neighbor or something." Izaya shrugs, settling himself better on Shinra's couch to watch the news. Who knew, maybe they'd lift the lockdown soon and he could be on his way. "I did 'or something'."

"Yeah, but I didn't mean call your sisters and leave them on their own! What are they, five?"

"Yeah, and they'll be fine." Izaya brushes Shinra off. Shinra sighs, but doesn't push the topic further.

Scant hours later, after they've both gone to bed – Shinra in his room, with Izaya insisting to take the couch – Shinra finds himself waking up to a feeling of déjà vu. He can hear the sounds of someone vomiting in the bathroom, and given the fact that Celty doesn't have a head as well as her not being home, along with his father – unless either of them slipped in after he and Izaya went to bed, but it's doubtful –, it leaves only one culprit. Making his way down the hall, the bathroom light isn't on, but he can still hear the pitiful sounds of Izaya's retching.

"What's wrong Izaya?" Shinra asks with a yawn, flipping the light in the bathroom on without regard for the other teen. He doesn't ask if Izaya's okay, because it's a dumb question seeing as he's throwing up. Still, asking what's wrong can be construed as a dumb question too, seeing as it's blatantly obvious what's wrong, but Shinra's aiming more towards a 'why' with his question. Flu, food poisoning, nightmares… The possibilities are endless as to why Izaya's sick enough to throw up.

He sees Izaya's back twitch at the sound of his voice and the light, but Shinra's quick to dismiss it. It's more than likely just because he's embarrassed at having Shinra see him like this. Izaya's always been prideful to a point where he doesn't like anyone seeing him in a moment of weakness, and this definitely counts as one.

"Hey, come on Izaya, I can't help you if you don't answer me," Shinra cajoles when Izaya doesn't answer. "What is it? An upset stomach? Headache? Do you feel lightheaded?"

"Go 'way," Is the heaved response, Izaya lurching over the toilet with a sick belch. From Shinra's placement at the door, he can see the tremors running down Izaya's body and the faint sheen of sweat running down his temple. A fever maybe?

Shinra goes to take a step towards Izaya, but when his gaze passes down the floor he narrowly misses stepping in a puddle of vomit. Apparently Izaya didn't make it to the bathroom quite in time when the first wave of nausea hit him.

"Disgusting," Shinra mutters without the appropriate amount of disgust in his voice to match his words. As he kneels down to examine the vomit puddle – because it's obviously going to be more help at this point than Izaya – he would almost swear that he sees Izaya's back stiffen. Huh. Odd.

"I'll clean that up," Izaya's words are strained, a mix of worry, nerves, and embarrassment. Shinra wonders why that is; a bad home life, maybe? Maybe his parents always get mad at him at home when he is sick and makes him clean up his own messes. Who knows!

"I'm not going to make you do that," Shinra reaches over to open a drawer at the sink, pulling out a pair of latex gloves from the box in it. "I'm not so mean as to make a sick person clean up their own puke." He snaps the gloves on and reaches down to poke at the contents of Izaya's vomit.

He can make out the clear shapes of the chicken that was part of dinner, as well as the different vegetables he had included. Rice, along with the weird cookies Celty had baked the other day that Shinra had forced on his friend before bed; it seemed at first glance that Izaya was probably suffering from a cut-and-dry case of either an upset stomach or food poisoning. Either is a possibility because while he will never admit to his beloved's face, Celty's cooking does need some work, though Shinra doesn't regret forcing the cookies on Izaya.

That is, it's _almost_ a cut-and-dry case. The longer Shinra stares at the vomit, the more certain details sink in. Something that all the food items have in common.

"That's weird," Shinra announces out loud because he has a suspicion, one that only Izaya can confirm. Watching from the corner of his eye, Shinra can see Izaya freeze mid-heave. "Why's your food not digested, Orihara-kun?"

Okay, so it's not the whole truth; parts of the food are digested, but not well enough to signal hours of digestive work. The degree of digestion that Izaya's vomit demonstrates is as if Izaya just binged on these items not even a half hour prior to vomiting them back up. There's only one explanation as to why this sort of thing would occur.

And the human finger bone that Shinra finds in Izaya's vomit is the noose.

"Are you, perhaps, a ghoul, Izaya?"

* * *

 _Please read and review~!_


	2. Fight For Your Food

Part 2/3! There's one more after this, and that's the largest chunk. Not really much to say here, aside from I hope you enjoy it!

 **Story Warnings: Vomiting, Blood, Gore, Cannibalism**

 **Chapter Warnings: N/A**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara! or Tokyo Ghoul**

 ** _Eating Habits_**

 _Shinra always knew there was something off about Izaya's eating havits, but he never would have guessed that this would be the reason. Tokyo Ghoul AU_

 **Meal 2: Fight For Your Food (Don't Fight For Your Food)**

That might have been the wrong thing to say, Shinra realizes belatedly. He doesn't have much time to react to Izaya's reaction to his announcement. One instant, Izaya is turning a horrified look towards Shinra – giving him a glimpse at red irises and black corneas, the kakugan of a ghoul – and the next instant, Izaya is lunging for him with impossible speed that he has never seen before, not even in Izaya's near-daily chases with Shizuo.

Shinra darts for the drawer that he pulled the gloves out of. His dad has a habit of keeping medical supplies in the weirdest places in the apartment, and Shinra knows that there's a syringe in the drawer. As he rushes the drawer, he slips on the vomit puddle, and as he goes down, one hand in the drawer, Izaya clips him in the side. They both go down on the floor hard.

But as Shinra goes down, he has a hand firmly clasped on the syringe from the drawer. Izaya pins him down at the shoulders, giving Shinra a full view of his kakugan. Completely black eyes, with the exception of the blood red iris, Izaya's pupils are miniscule pinpricks. There's a feral look to his eyes, and his face is twisted in desperation. His knowledge of Izaya being a ghoul, his accurate guess, must have made Izaya feel threatened in some way, seeing as he's acting like he's been backed into a corner.

Izaya's hold on his shoulders isn't as tight as it should be to be truly threatening however, and Shinra feels confident enough despite the situation. After all, Izaya doesn't know how much Shinra knows, and Shinra… well, while he doesn't know a lot, he knows _enough_. He's not very strong, and he's definitely no Shizuo, but when he rears up to head-butt Izaya, it's hard enough to shock the other teen, whether it's from surprise or pain, Shinra doesn't know. Not only that, he doesn't care, seeing as it's enough to give Shinra the leverage to switch their positions, so he's on top.

Shinra uncaps the syringe, holding it with one hand, while the other hand is placed at Izaya's neck, his thumb placed at the dip in his throat. It's the prime positioning to either stab Izaya with the syringe, or choke him. Izaya is scowling at him now, breathing hard, though calmer than he had been moments before. Who knows, maybe all he ever needed was a good knock to the head to put some sanity in that head of his.

"What, going to stab me with your syringe?" Izaya laughs breathily, not quite hysterical but in the vicinity. "Good luck. I'm a ghoul, right? The needle won't even break my skin." And he's laughing, and Shinra's almost positive that Izaya _is_ hysterical right now.

"Ah, but who said it needs to go through the skin?" Shinra replies lightly, leaning down closer to Izaya. "This might shock you, Orihara-kun, but I do know a thing or two about the anatomy of a ghoul." He drags the needle of the syringe along the bridge of Izaya's nose – not strictly sanitary but Shinra doesn't really care at the moment. "Such as, if I stick this needle right by your eye, in your tear gland, I could inject you with _anything_. And who knows what's in this syringe? My dad keeps some awful stuff just lying around after all…"

To prove his point, Shinra rests the tip of the needle lightly on the aforementioned area by Izaya's left eye. There's a minute flicker in Izaya's eyes, a small shiver down his entire body. A flinch. Izaya's keeping up his bravado, but Shinra can see right through it, and how he's scared.

"Go ahead," Izaya taunts, breathless. His eyes and voice are challenging, but Shinra's a pro at reading body language, and Izaya's is screaming that he's terrified. "Kill me Shinra. Do Tokyo a service and rid it of another –"

The doorbell rings.

Both boys startle at the sound, Izaya slamming his head harshly off the floor of the bathroom, and Shinra flinching back. It's like the bad comedy relief in a TV show, where the dramatic fight is interrupted with an inopportune side-plot. There's another moment of silence, before the doorbell is swapped for hard knocking on the door, accompanied by a baritone voice calling out.

"Is anyone home? This is the Commission for Counter Ghoul."

Tension bleeds immediately back into Izaya's frame, an angry look on his face, taunting Shinra once more.

"Go ahead," He practically snarls. "Scream. Shout that you have a ghoul at your mercy in the bathroom. Should be a lot easier killing me if it's not you who does it."

"Hello?" The voice calls out again, knocking. "Is everything all right in there?"

It's a stupid decision that Shinra makes, but one he makes nonetheless. He places the syringe on the bathroom counter, and gets off of Izaya. Leaving the bathroom, he goes to answer the front door.

"How can I help you?" Shinra asks, opening the door and catching the CCG investigator mid-knock. It's an older man, probably his father's age or older.

"Are you the resident of this apartment?" The investigator asks, looking mildly shocked at Shinra's appearance, as if he hadn't expected him to answer the door or something.

"Yes," Shinra nods. "I live here with my dad." _And my beloved, who happens to be a headless illegal immigrant,_ he adds in his head, but the investigator doesn't need to know that particular information. "What business does the CCG have with us?"

"Your neighbors heard the sounds of a scuffle, and were afraid something was wrong. You realize this area is under a ghoul lockdown, right?" The investigator explains, and it looks like he's trying to look over Shinra's head to see further into the apartment. "Are you home alone?"

"No, one of my schoolmates is here with me," Shinra answers politely, doing his best so as not to arouse suspicion in the investigator. "He was over when they announced the lockdown. He got sick earlier, and slipped on the floor and fell. That's probably what the neighbors heard." The investigator is staring at him, and when Shinra looks down at himself, he can see the vomit covering his pajama pants, and also belatedly realizes he's still wearing the latex gloves he put on to poke at Izaya's vomit. "My friend threw up on the floor, and I slipped in it as well. We were about to clean it up when you came to the door."

The investigator looks like he doesn't believe what Shinra is trying to sell him. He really wishes he hadn't left the syringe in the bathroom with Izaya. As much as he had been bluffing with the other, the only thing in the syringe is a sedative, and it would be immensely useful if they have to do something drastic to get rid of this ghoul investigator.

"I see." The investigator says, and for a moment Shinra believes that he's going to leave until he asks instead, "May I come in? Just to make sure everything really is okay, that is."

"I don't know," Shinra clams up almost immediately, and then wants to hit himself for doing so. "I mean, my friend is already embarrassed for getting sick, and then having someone else see him like that? I'll never hear the end of it!"

"Now son," The investigator takes a serious tone, and Shinra's swearing at himself. By hesitating and not letting the investigator in, he's managed to make himself look suspicious. "You realize there are harsh penalties for ghoul sympathizers, right? There's a ghoul on the loose right now, and if you don't cooperate with me right now, I'm going to have to assume –"

"Ne, ne, Shinra, you're a ghoul sympathizer? Wah, if you had told me that I would have never come over!" Izaya pops around the corner of the hall, and Shinra almost wants to hit the idiot, because this is a _ghoul investigator_ , and Izaya's a _ghoul._ But as he turns to look at Izaya, his eyes are normal. He's clutching the bucket that's normally kept under the bathroom sink, and Shinra wonders how he managed to stumble across it, and why Izaya had been rooting through the bathroom. Izaya's also relatively pale, and with how his fingers are clutching the bucket like a lifeline, Shinra makes a reasonable guess that it's taking Izaya all his self-control not to puke right now and keep up this act.

"I'm not!" Shinra responds, which is a direct contrast to what he's currently doing, seeing as he has a ghoul in his home that he is protecting from the investigator who is trying to get into his home.

"Is this your friend?" The investigator looks between Shinra and Izaya with a raised eyebrow.

"Ne, why's a ghoul investigator interested in a teen's friends?" Izaya interrupts before Shinra can answer. "Are you a pervert, Investigator-san?"

"Izaya!" Really, his statement would have been hilarious if the situation wasn't so tense. Still, Shinra can see how Izaya's trying to throw the situation – if they try and make it seem like they're just two innocuous high school students, make it seem as normal as possible, the investigator might leave them alone. Even so, calling the investigator a pervert might not have been the best route to go.

"Sorry, sorry!" Izaya's grinning though, hunched over the bucket as he is, and doesn't look the least bit sorry. "But really, what's a CCG investigator doing here?"

"One of the neighbors heard us fall," Shinra supplies Izaya with the same lie he fed the investigator, because he doesn't know how long Izaya has been hovering behind the corner, or how much he's heard. "You know, when we slipped in your puke." Izaya scowls at Shinra as if he's mad for announcing that he threw up, but the effect doesn't last long when his cheeks puff out, and his body shudders like he might just puke again. If he does, it might be incentive to get the investigator out of the apartment sooner.

"But hey!" Shinra directs his attention back to the ghoul investigator when Izaya disappointingly does not come through. "What _are_ you doing in the building, Investigator-san? Shouldn't you be looking for the ghoul that's causing the lockdown?"

"Not to scare you boys," Which is a laugh, because like anything can scare Shinra or Izaya, "But witness reports state they saw the ghoul come into this apartment complex."

"Oh, so when the neighbor said they heard a scuffle, you really meant that they thought the ghoul was in here trying to eat us!" Shinra says with far too much cheer to be healthy, or appropriate for the situation. "Well, as you can see, it's only us, and neither of us are ghouls or dying, so…" And he goes to shut the door, because it's very obvious that they are done with the investigator.

"Would you mind if I took a look around your apartment?" The investigator requests, sticking a foot just past the threshold of the apartment, like that will prevent Shinra from slamming the door on it. "Just to be safe."

"Sorry!" Shinra shakes his head with the same cheer. "My dad says not to let strange men in the apartment when he's not home –" Actually, he's said nothing of the sort, the actual request was no cops, which Shinra's almost positive includes CCG investigators, "– and that includes you! I'd really rather not get in trouble with him, so I can't let you in." Shinra looks back to Izaya, to see if he'll help, but he's just watching the proceedings with the same pale face as before. Big help he is, considering everything Shinra is doing to save him after Izaya attacked him.

As he turns back to the investigator though, he hears Izaya cough behind him, before the sound of retching hits his ears, followed by the wet echo of liquid slapping off the sides of the bucket.

"And my friend is really sick! Contagious, probably!" Shinra adds on quickly, actually thankful that Izaya puked. "This whole apartment is somewhere you don't want to be right now, what if you get sick? Wah, who would protect us from the ghouls if you got sick, Investigator-san?"

The investigator seems fairly disgusted from having watched Izaya puke, which is strange, because as a ghoul investigator he should be used to seeing far more gruesome things (though Izaya is disgusting himself, so watching him puke would be disgusting too!), but Shinra isn't one to waste opportunities. While the Investigator is distracted, Shinra not so subtly kicks his foot out of the way of the door, and slams it shut, leaving the Investigator with a rushed,

"Try again next time, maybe!" As he slams it shut. He flicks the lock shut, only sagging against it when he hears the investigator sigh, and trudge down the hall, muttering something about "teenagers".

"Hah, that was close, wasn't it?" Shinra says when he feels that the investigator isn't anywhere nearby to overhear. "He seemed really disgusted when you threw up, didn't he Orihara-kun?"

He looks up, a tired smile on his face, to see Izaya staring at him with a mixed expression. Izaya's leaning against the wall as if it's what is supporting him, but he's not clutching the bucket with the same desperation he had been before. The look on Izaya's face makes him seem like he's not certain of Shinra's intentions.

"Why did you do that?" Izaya asks, though his tone makes it seem like more of a demand. He gives another wet cough, a shiver shuddering its way across his body, but he doesn't throw up again.

"Do what?" Shinra plays dumb as he heads towards the kitchen, Izaya following behind him warily with the bucket. He hopes Izaya won't decide to throw it at him if he thinks he needs to make a quick escape.

"Don't play dumb," Izaya's response is flat; he knows Shinra is playing coy and doesn't appreciate it. "You know what I'm talking about. You just lied to an investigator from the CCG."

"Ah, but so did you, didn't you Orihara-kun?" Shinra shoots back lightly, pulling a glass out of one of the cupboards and filling it with water. He brandishes the glass towards Izaya. "Here."

Izaya doesn't take it.

"Why did you protect me?" Izaya continues, not quite shouting because he doesn't want to give Shinra's neighbors any reason to call the CCG investigator back. "I'm a _ghoul._ You should have turned me in to that guy! But you didn't!"

"You're right," Shinra smiles at Izaya, sharp and pointed. "I didn't. If you rather I did though, we can always call him back here…" His voice drops vaguely in a threat, and he holds the glass of water out to Izaya once more. This time, Izaya reluctantly takes it, setting the bucket on the floor. He takes a sip out of the glass, rinsing his mouth, before spitting it into the bucket at his feet.

"Gross." Shinra says mildly, and Izaya rolls his eyes.

"I already threw up in there."

"I know!" Shinra responds, "It's still disgusting – though, I guess I _should_ thank you. If you hadn't thrown up, we'd probably still be trying to get that investigator out of here."

A silence settles between them, and just as Shinra's contemplating heading to the bathroom to clean up Izaya's mess – after all, he _had_ told the other that he wasn't going to make him clean it up – Izaya mutters something into his water glass. Shinra misses it, seeing as Izaya didn't say it very loudly and his words were muffled on the rim of the glass. That, and while Shinra thought he heard what Izaya said, the words were too unbelievable to have come from _Izaya's_ mouth.

"What was that?" Shinra asks, and Izaya averts his eyes, still mumbling around the glass. "I'm sorry Orihara-kun, I didn't quite catch that!" And there's a flush forming on Izaya's cheeks, the only color filling his otherwise still pale face.

"I said thank you, all right!" Izaya finally snaps loudly, clenching the glass so tightly that if he were any other person, Shinra might think it would break in his grip.

"Wow, the high and mighty Orihara Izaya saying 'thank you'? I never thought I'd see the day!" Okay, so Shinra might be enjoying this a little too much. But hey, it's not every day he gets to lord something like this over Izaya's head!

"Shut up," Izaya's retort is half-hearted, and when Shinra looks at him, Izaya seems like he might throw up again.

"Try and make it in the bucket if you're going to puke again," Shinra tells Izaya with as much passive disinterest as he can manage.

"I'm not going to puke again," Izaya responds with an unconvincing burp interrupting his words. He's holding the back of his hand against his mouth as if it will ward off the nausea he's denying he's feeling.

"If you say so," Shinra shrugs, dropping into a chair at the table. Reluctantly, as if he's not sure if he should as well, Izaya sits in the chair closest to where he's standing, trying his best to surreptitiously pull the bucket along with him and failing to not catch Shinra's notice.

"I'll be fine," Izaya reiterates, taking another drink from the glass.

"So," Shinra breaks the silence when it settles, "Why _did_ you get sick? Or are ghouls just as susceptible to illnesses as humans are?"

"Not as far as I know," Izaya keeps his eyes focused on his glass, as if he wants to be looking anywhere _but_ Shinra. "I got sick because of your food."

"Hey!" Shinra protests, offended. "My cooking isn't that bad."

"I wouldn't know," Izaya replies nonchalantly, shrugging, running his finger across the rim of the glass.

"You ate it!"

"Human food tastes horrible," Izaya answers, unsure as to why he's actually divulging this information. He seems far more interested in the grain of the table than looking at Shinra while he talks. "As you pointed out earlier, I didn't actually digest any of it – ghouls can't. It's why we subsist off of a diet of pretty much one-hundred percent human. It's the only thing we can eat. If we eat something else, we get sick. It's like if you humans were to eat something like dog food, or something similar."

"I see…" Shinra 'hmms' as he processes this new information. After processing it, he stands up. "All right then. So, Izaya," He turns to his friend, and when Izaya looks up, Shinra has a grin that he recognizes for when Shinra's interest in something is purely scientific. "Want something to eat?"

* * *

 _Please read and review~!_


	3. Stranger Meals

Hey! I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas for who celebrates it. Sorry it took so long to get this last part up and out - to be honest, I just kept forgetting to upload it, and then I got distracted by my holiday piece. But, better late than never, huh? This chapter is probably the whole reason why this story was called "Eating Habits", to be honest. It includes a lot of speculation on the eating habits and stuff for ghouls, seeing as when I was reading Tokyo Ghoul I didn't see too much in depth detail on it. If I got anything wrong, please let me know!

Even though this is the end to _Eating Habits_ , I will probably have a few more to go with the AU - there's definitely one I have in mind that will feature more Tokyo Ghoul characters (specifically Touka and Kaneki). If you guys have any ideas or anything you want to see within the AU, let me know and I'll see how I can make it work! You can either drop it to me as a PM, or hit me up on my tumblr at kixaxstyx.

Now, let's get to the last part of _Eating Habits!_ This is the chapter that the majority of the warnings actually apply to, so just be careful, okay?

 **Story Warnings: Vomiting, Blood, Gore, Cannibalism**

 **Chapter Warnings: Blood, Gore, Cannibalism**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! or Tokyo Ghoul**

 _ **Eating Habits**_

 _Shinra always knew that there was something off about Izaya's eating habits, but he never would have guessed this to be the reason. Tokyo Ghoul AU_

 **Meal 3: "Stranger" Meals**

"I'm pretty sure I just got done explaining that I _can't_ eat anything you make me Shinra," Izaya replies dully, though he gets up despite his words. Purely out of curiosity, he tells himself.

"Oh, I never said I was going to make you anything!" Shinra's chipper as he leads the way out of the kitchen and down the hall of the apartment. Izaya is following behind at a safe distance, leaving enough room between them in case he has to make a quick escape. He knows Shinra's predilection for asking Shizuo to dissect him because of his monstrous strength, and Izaya holds no fondness for being the one actually on the table. Which he knows Shinra is fully capable of, and though he will never admit it, Izaya is actually thankful for that ghoul investigator coming to the door.

"I mean, you were so thankless when I made you stuff the first time, there's no way I'm making anything for you ever again, ignoring the fact that you can't eat it anyways!" Shinra pops into one of the rooms, which Izaya recognizes as a bedroom.

"Ah, this is my dad's room," He explains needlessly, as Izaya doesn't care. "Just need something… here it is!" Shinra pulls a key from a box on the dresser, brandishing it excitedly. "Technically, I'm not supposed to know where he hides it, but, well, dad doesn't care anyways." He shrugs before heading back down the hall. Shinra stops at a door at the end of it, slotting the key in the hole, unlocking it and stepping in.

The room is freezing, Izaya notices as they enter. It's also filled with medical equipment, which is unsurprising since Shinra has never been shy at admitting that his family is in the medical profession. What really draws his attention most is the corpse lying on an exam table.

At least, he's fairly certain it's a corpse, seeing as the chest isn't rising, and there's the tell-tale 'y' form of stitches on its chest for someone having undergone an autopsy.

"Yeah," Shinra agrees to a question Izaya never spoke. "My dad does work as an underground doctor. Cool, isn't it?" He approaches the corpse with far less hesitance than Izaya does, as he's still suspecting some sort of catch. "He doesn't normally take care of cases in the apartment, but this guy, well, was sort of a special case. Until he died, of course."

"Oh, and don't worry!" Shinra adds as if he just thought of something, "He just kicked it this afternoon. Someone was supposed to come by earlier to pick the body up to get rid of it, but the lockdown ruined that! Lucky you, huh? He's a lot fresher than the corpse you were trying to snack on earlier!"

"What makes you think I was trying to 'snack on' that corpse earlier?" Izaya asks dryly, staring down at the corpse. It looks like it's in far better shape than the one from the alley. "For all you know, I was just an innocent passerby."

"You? Innocent?" He laughs. "Yeah right! But you're right, when I first saw you, I thought you were just squeamish, and threw up because you saw a dead body."

"Gee, thanks," Izaya pokes the corpse, shooting Shinra uncertain glances as if he's not sure what he's supposed to do.

"You're welcome!" Shinra side-steps the sarcasm as if it was never there. "And I knew you were trying to snack on the corpse because I saw the finger bone in your vomit. It was quite the surprise, to be honest!"

"I wasn't trying to snack on the corpse, by the way," Izaya's still alternating between staring at the corpse and Shinra, like he needs permission to start eating it. Either that or his presence is making it awkward, Shinra doesn't really know. "Well, not really."

"Then what do you call it?" Shinra asks.

"Seeing how fresh the corpse is," Izaya shrugs, "If it was rotted – which it was, as you helpfully pointed out – I wouldn't be able to take it. Which I can't." Even if he had wanted to swing by when he finally left Shinra's and scavenge what he could from it, the corpse would be long gone now – taken away by the CCG.

"So," Izaya changes the subject abruptly, leaning over the corpse. "You're sure it's okay that I eat this guy?"

"Well," Shinra hedges. For all he had been offering this corpse up to Izaya before, now he seems like he's second-guessing his decision. "I'm not sure 'okay' is the right word, and it'll probably be difficult to explain to my dad and the people who come to collect it, but I'm pretty sure you need the corpse more than wherever he's going to wind up being dumped. 'Sides, it's like a win-win situation for everyone – you get to eat, the body gets disposed of, and I'll get praise from Celty for being such a nice friend by helping you out!"

"As mean as I am, I'm not going to get you in trouble on my behalf over something like this," Izaya tells Shinra, scowling. Leave it to Shinra to try and make it seem like he's doing Izaya a favor. "I'll be fine; I'm not that hungry."

"Says the guy who was eating rotten corpse meat earlier," Shinra laughs, though it's not in an unkind manner. "You're such a liar, Izaya. You're drooling right now – I bet you can't wait to sink your teeth into this guy."

"Am not," Izaya retorts defensively, though he swipes a hand by his mouth like there's some sort of evidence he has to hide. He adds darkly under his breath, "And it's more like I can't wait to sink my teeth into you."

"I heard that!" Shinra trills, unfazed. He's fairly certain Izaya won't eat him, regardless of the presence of the corpse in front of them. "So, are you going to eat or not?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm getting there." He scowls, before holding out a hand. "Can I have a bowl and chopsticks or something?" Shinra stares at Izaya like he suddenly stopped speaking Japanese. "What?"

"Ah, nothing," Shinra answers quickly, "Just, what do you need the bowl and utensils for?"

"I may be a ghoul, but I'm not uncivilized," Izaya's staring at Shinra like he just grew a second head. "What, did you think I was going to stand here and use my hands the whole time? As if."

"Fine, fine," Shinra acquiesces, retreating to the kitchen to grab the requested items. He grabs a clean bowl from the cupboard, and a set of western eating utensils, and then Shinra just pulls the chopsticks Izaya had used earlier that evening from the sink, giving them a quick rinse off. He makes a mental note to isolate all these items later and mark them as Izaya's stuff to use whenever he's over.

As he passes the bathroom, he remembers the mess that had been left in there, but when he pops his head in, the mess has already been cleaned up.

"Oh good, you didn't start eating without me here! Did you clean up the mess in the bathroom?" He hands Izaya the bowl and utensils when he enters the room.

"I said that I would," Izaya shrugs as he sets everything on the small table by the exam table.

"And I said that you didn't have to." Shinra frowns, but Izaya's not looking at him, instead poking the corpse like he's trying to figure out where the best place to start is.

"Do you want to undo the stitches on his chest?" Izaya dismisses the subject, moving his attention up to the head of the corpse.

"Sure," Shinra amenably agrees. "Though, couldn't you just rip them open yourself with your ghoul strength?"

"I'm getting my hands dirty enough as it is, ne?" Izaya messes with the guy's eyelids. "You could stand to help a little too, seeing as you were kind enough to offer this meal to me." Then, with a bored tone, he adds, "I hope _you're_ not squeamish."

And he sticks his fingers into the guy's eye socket, scooping out the right eye with his bare hand. Morbidly, Shinra watches with fascination, not squeamish in the slightest. Izaya pulls the eyeball out with relative ease, only needing to give an extra yank when the optic nerve refuses to dislodge from the occipital lobe. Dropping it in the bowl at his side, Izaya wastes no time in doing the same thing to the left eye.

"Maa, that's truly disgusting," Shinra hums when Izaya's pulled the left eye out, and is licking his gore covered fingers.

"Nobody's making you watch me," He snaps irritably, pausing to glare at him.

"I know, I know!" Shinra says quickly, picking up a pair of medical scissors and snipping through the stitches on the corpse's chest with fast precision, Izaya idly licking his fingers as he waits for Shinra to finish. "What do you want with the guy's eyes, anyways? I thought ghouls only ate human meat."

"I believe I said our diets were 'one-hundred percent human', Shinra," Izaya pulls up the skin covering the chest area. Wrapping a hand around one of the upper ribs, Izaya brings his hand up, taking along not only the rib he had grabbed, but two nearby ribs as well, and the sternum. Blood and gore splatter over the two boys, Shinra recoiling in disgust, and Izaya blinking like it was an unexpected happenstance. "Oops. Ah, oh well." He tosses the ribs back onto the body, and reaches his hand back into the chest cavity, through the opening he made by breaking off the ribs. Grabbing whatever he's looking for, the next thing Izaya pulls out of the corpse's chest is the heart which he drops carelessly into the bowl on top of the eyeballs.

"Anyways," He continues, stripping some of the flesh off of the ribs he had pulled out earlier, dropping that into the bowl as well. Shinra wonders for a moment if he should have grabbed a bigger one, marveling over how much Izaya is putting into the bowl. "We are able to eat every part of the human body, though some of us prefer certain parts over others. Like humans, ne? Some humans won't eat a pig's brain, while others consider it a delicacy – it's the same concept."

"So, what, you eat the heart and eyes because you consider it a delicacy?"

"Nah," Izaya shakes his head, swiping his tongue across the back of his hand, licking up some of the gore. "I was just taught not to be wasteful when you have food put in front of you. For some of us, it's hard to be picky." There's a chair on his side of the exam table, and Izaya drops into it as he cleans his hand. Shinra mimics the action on his side, staring with queer curiosity at Izaya's cat-like cleaning of his hand.

"So," Izaya says brusquely when he's done licking his hand clean, picking up the chopsticks. "Is there anything else you want to know about our eating habits?" He digs them through the bowl, probably searching for one of the eyeballs he buried under the heart and other flesh he put in it. Izaya scowls during his search, and as Shinra wonders why, he pulls the chopsticks out, with a deflated eyeball trapped sadly between them.

"Wow, you're just going to tell me?" Shinra is amazed. "Orihara Izaya offering me information? For free? Wow, it's like I've been transported to a different reality!" Izaya scoffs.

"It's not for free," Izaya throws the eyeball into his mouth, pausing to chew and swallow. "I owe you, for not telling that CCG investigator about me, and for this," He licks his lips and waves at the corpse with his chopsticks before he goes routing through his bowl for the other eyeball. "It's only fair, ne? So, do you have anything you want to know or not? Aha!" Izaya smirks triumphantly, pulling out the other eyeball by its optic nerve, completely intact.

"Um, let's see," Shinra thinks, trying to come up with appropriate questions in order to take full advantage of this opportunity Izaya is giving him. "Why do you eat human food if it makes you sick?"

"We have to blend in with you humans," Izaya answers around the eyeball in his mouth, before shutting his teeth down sharply – and disgustingly – on it. "That includes eating. It'd be strange if humans didn't see us eating their sort of food around them. If we never ate human food, it'd be like sticking a red flag screaming, 'hey, look at me! I'm a ghoul!' We're not technically allowed to interact with humans until we've mastered eating human food without throwing up immediately after."

"Technically?"

"Some still do it," Izaya shrugs, picking at the flesh he stripped from the ribs, taking a bite from it. "Most of the time, ghoul kids are just home schooled. A lot of us never properly integrate into the human world, and just live and interact with the underground."

It's tempting to ask personal questions of Izaya's home life, seeing as it's a perfect segue opportunity and all, but Shinra doesn't want to risk Izaya taking away his information free-for-all that he's given Shinra.

"All right," Shinra nods, watching as Izaya leans up, and separates a rib from the trio he pulled out earlier, sticking in his mouth. He's not sure if this is how the other teen always eats, or if it's supposed to be an intimidation tactic, but if it's the latter, it isn't really working. "Is there human food that ghouls can eat? Or is it all vomit-inducing?"

"Um," Izaya pauses, thinking, before crunching down on the part of the rib that's in his mouth, grabbing the part that's sticking out with the same hand that's holding his chopsticks. He chews and swallows before answering. "Coffee, the stronger the brew, the better we keep it down. Sugar, though that's easier if you mix blood in it… Water, though that's not strictly human… That's about it, I think. It's what I've heard of, and have been able to keep down, at least." He sticks the rib back in his mouth, crunching on it once more. How amazing, to have teeth strong enough to cut through bones like that.

"Does the human meat you consume have to be raw?" Shinra throws out another question. "Or are you able to cook it?"

"Tastes better raw," Izaya shrugs, tossing back the last of the rib. "But, yeah, we can cook it if we want to. Helps sometimes, if you're trying to get a corpse to last a while and you don't want to freeze everything."

"So, what? You turn it into jerky and stuff like that?" Shinra mocks, only half serious when his next question is, "Have any recipes you'd like to share, Orihara-kun?"

"Jerky, sure, or stuff like smoked meat," Izaya glares around the piece of meat he has hanging on his chopsticks, taking time to eat it before continuing. "My sisters and I make jelly occasionally, with the brain and blood, seeing as it's mainly sugar and water. The gelatin mix makes it a bit hard to eat, but if you add more blood than water it's not _too_ disgusting."

"Hmm," Shinra fishes around for another question while Izaya fishes the heart from his bowl. "Does your kakugan always appear when you're eating, or only sometimes?"

"Yeah," Izaya agrees, answer somewhat muffled with how his mouth is around the heart in a similar manner as to how one would eat an apple. He follows through with the bite, continuing when he's done with, "It comes out when we're eating, or excited, or not in control. Or when we're using our kagune."

"Can I see your kagune?" Shinra asks before he can stop himself.

"No," Is Izaya's immediate response, teeth slicing through the aortic valve of the heart.

"Ah, it was worth a shot." But he's not too disappointed, seeing as he expected that sort of answer. "How often do ghouls need to eat?"

"Once a month," Izaya's done with the heart, and instead of pulling more interior organs or flesh out, just drops the last two ribs and sternum that he ripped out earlier into his bowl, flesh and all, blood splashing out the sides. "Though some eat more often than that. It depends on how fresh the meat is, how much the ghoul eats in one sitting, as well as how old the ghoul is. Children and elderly need more meat than young adults and adults, assuming they got the proper amount of meat they needed during their childhood." He crunches through an entire rib and its flesh as he answers, and makes headway on the sternum as well. "We call the ones who eat more often than they need to binge-eaters. Like humans, ne? Bingeing on everything they can get their hands on, but unlike humans, ghouls don't throw it all back up when they're done."

"How much is a proper amount for a ghoul to eat in one sitting?" Izaya snaps up the rest of the sternum before answering.

"Like I said, it depends on the ghoul." He crunches down on the last rib in his bowl. "Most adults could probably eat the entire torso of this guy before being full."

"Why do kids need more than an adult?" Shinra doesn't flinch when Izaya rips out the three top ribs from the side of the guy's chest he's sitting on, though he is mildly annoyed by the blood spatter that's on his glasses now because of it.

"We get RC cells from eating human meat," Izaya seems to have lost a lot of the decorum he's had up until now while eating, barely restraining himself from using his hands completely as he eats. At the present moment, Shinra's pretty sure the only reason Izaya hasn't gone after him yet is because of the corpse that he has free reign on. As it is, Izaya isn't doing very well at not talking with his mouth full. "It's what helps us form our kagunes. Kids need more to help make and stabilize them, and the elderly need more to help keep them from deteriorating in old age."

"Fascinating," Shinra grins, and Izaya stares at him like he just realized something.

"It's creepy, having you sit there staring at me while I eat." He points his chopsticks at Shinra accusingly.

"But Izaya, just think about it!" Shinra gasps in mock hurt from the other side of the table. As Izaya actually looks at him, he can see that Shinra's eyes are shining in excitement, and he regrets not kicking him out while he was eating. _Freak._ "When will I ever get to observe a ghoul eating again?"

"Never, if you keep that up," Izaya grumbles and pokes his chopsticks at the interior of the bowl. There's nothing really left in it, but as he looks at the mutilated corpse, he suddenly feels self-conscious. He's still sort of hungry, but now that he's conscious of Shinra staring at him eating, he's hesitant to eat more. "Technically, I should have killed you already."

"And aren't I glad you haven't!" Shinra hums, and Izaya huffs. "Thanks to you, I know so much more about the eating habits of ghouls!"

"Besides," Shinra continues as Izaya settles back in his chair, setting the empty bowl on the small table next to him. "Why would you kill me, when I was so nice to feed you?"

"Because you're a walking liability?" Izaya suggests. "You could at any point walk into the CCG and tell them I'm a ghoul, and the next thing I know, I'm dead."

"I would never do that!" Shinra brightly denies. "After all, if I turned you into the CCG, I wouldn't be able to dissect you when they killed you." Of course, everything always leads back to dissection with Shinra.

"You say that now," Izaya mutters crossly, and as he sits there wondering if he should eat a bit more, he decides against it. Though he can probably eat more, sitting down and letting his stomach settle tells him that he ate a little too much a little too fast.

"Can I have one last question?" Shinra asks, staring at Izaya, who is now curled slightly over himself, staring at the corpse like he's fighting to either have one last bite, or keep what he's eaten so far down.

"Can't guarantee I'll answer it," Izaya bites back, and Shinra doesn't mind. He thinks he can probably answer this one without Izaya's help anyways.

"You say ghouls only need to eat once a month, but when was the last time you ate?" Izaya freezes, and he doesn't come up with a lie quick enough, because Shinra says the conclusion he's already come to. "I'm guessing it's been more than a month, judging by how you were just gorging yourself, and barely able to restrain yourself. Not only that, but you're looking pale again, like you might be sick, even though you've only eaten human, which is supposed to be the only thing you're able to eat. That means the reason why you're feeling sick is because you've eaten too much, probably too fast! So, what's it been, a month and a half since you last ate? Two months?"

"Three," Izaya reluctantly admits. "Since I've properly eaten, at least. Every now and then I get quick bites, but nothing substantial."

"Wow!" Shinra is amazed. "I'm surprised you haven't gone mad with starvation yet and tried to eat the kids at school. Why so long?" He doesn't think Izaya will actually deign to answer, so Shinra's amazement extends further when he does.

"I give all the food I find that can be eaten to my sisters," And wow, maybe there is a part of Izaya that is caring, who knew? "They need it more than me."

"I don't know about that," Shinra hums, "You're practically skin and bones! I'd say you definitely need it as much as your sisters do."

"I am not," Izaya denies, but from where Shinra's sitting, he's pretty sure he can see a light flush somewhere on the other's gore-covered cheeks. "I don't need a lecture on my eating habits from you."

"Haha, sure you don't!" Shinra mockingly agrees, standing from his chair, and walks across to root through the cupboards on the other side of the room before producing two decently sized medical bags from one of them. Unzipping them, he upends the contents of both bags into the bottom of the cupboard.

"Here!" He tosses one at Izaya, who catches it with a bewildered look on his face, before striding back over to the corpse.

"What –?" Izaya begins, but Shinra cuts him off.

"I mean, we already started mutilating this corpse, might as well do a bit more!" He drops his bag on his chair, swaps the latex gloves he's been wearing for a new pair, and roots through the drawers for a bone saw. "You get that side, I'll get this one, and we'll see how much we can fit in these bags!"

"And do what with it?" Izaya isn't quite sure what Shinra is aiming for.

"Well, send you home with it, obviously," Shinra says, pausing in his attempt to figure out the best place to start. Will it be easier to go for larger chunks, or smaller? He isn't sure. "The ghoul lockdown will lift at dawn, and we can just take these and drop them off at your house before heading to school – you need to stop there anyways to change. My dad's probably just going to stay at work and not come home anyways, and while it'll be disappointing not to see my darling, she's probably better off not seeing this. As long as we don't act suspiciously, we'll be able to get this corpse – well, a good chunk of it, at least – to your house without anyone the wiser."

"And how are you going to explain a missing corpse to the people who are supposed to pick this thing up?" Izaya's voice is dry, as if he doubts Shinra has thought this entire thing through.

"Well, hopefully, we'll have gone by the time they get here!" He responds optimistically, because he hasn't thought the entire thing through, not completely. "My dad can take care of it – they won't suspect me, not if I put the key back, and they definitely won't suspect you because even though you were here, you're not supposed to know about this anyways! If anything, I can always blame it on the ghoul that caused the lockdown."

"Fine," Izaya agrees to Shinra's plan. "But only because there's no way for them to connect this all to me being a ghoul. That's the only reason I'm agreeing to this dumb idea of yours."

"And because you're getting free food out of it," Shinra adds slyly, and Izaya scoffs as he braces a hand on the forearm of the corpse and rips its hand straight off its body from the wrist. Okay, the smaller the parts, the better. Shinra can do that.

"You'll have to wash your clothes," Izaya informs Shinra as they work on dismantling the corpse. "Having them covered in blood and gore isn't going to being all the convincing when you try to play innocent."

"Yeah, and you'll have to wash your face," Shinra laughs, removing the hand on his side of the body and throwing it in Izaya's bag. "Seeing as it's covered in gore." And he laughs harder when Izaya raises a hand to his face and tries to wipe it off, only succeeding in smearing more gore on and around it.

"Ah, go die," Izaya tells Shinra when he finally gives up and Shinra collapses from laughing so hard.

"Wah, how mean, telling the person feeding you to go die," Shinra manages to respond, when he finally stops laughing.

"If the person feeding me went and died, I would just have more to eat, ne? It's a win-win." Izaya brushes Shinra off.

"You really are horrible, aren't you?" Shinra says, watching Izaya snap the man's arm off at the shoulder.

Izaya gives Shinra a blithe smile in response, a scary expression when combined with his gore covered face and how he's holding half of a man's arm.

"So they tell me."

* * *

 _And that's the end! As always, please read and review~!_


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